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Money is given staggering amount of control over our lives. We feel vulnerable without enough, ashamed when spending too much, and clueless about how to manage it. However talented, educated, creative, or skilled we may be, we can feel as though we’re not earning what we should be. This only gets worse in relationships, as often “my” money becomes “ours.” One’s problem is now two’s.

Here’s an overview of the underlying causes for these feelings and how to deal with them.